glitterfish.com

I can’t tell you where this came from, but I assure you it is real.

Dear [redacted],

I know that at this point in your search for an assistant you might have encountered prospects that are more experienced and perhaps even more qualified then myself. I would therefore like to take this opportunity to share with you what sets me apart from them, something that in retrospect I may have failed to do at our last meeting. In response to your looking for someone who’s job it was to make your life easier, I would like to offer an addendum. I would also dedicate myself to helping you do your job better. I am ready and eager to commit myself fully to helping you make the most of your career and your art. I see this opportunity to be your assistant as more than a job, I see it as an apprenticeship to a professionally successful artist, and I can assure you with utmost confidence, that you have not met with anyone who will work harder for you then I will. These words might of course ring hollow in your ears seeing as how that last statement has become something of a cliché, nevertheless it is as true a thing as I am capable of communicating to you through this barrier of professional anonymity. Also I would like to touch upon one of my more unique skills in order to better represent what it is I can offer you. As you might recall I have developed quite the working relationship with the company I interned for last summer (references I urge you to call), most notably because of my ability to quickly master new tasks through observation. You who are no doubt a practical man might find the concept of paying for a dog masseuse for your two aging dogs laughable, however should you commission these services just once from a professional and I were in a position to observe it, I could acquire this new skill in order to provide it for your animals in the future, and perhaps make their trips up and down the stairs a bit less painful. A little strange? Yes. But I feel myself forced to make an impression after the “cold read” that was our first meeting. If though, you are simply looking for a run of the mill assistant to handle odd jobs and office work I doubt I am your man. If however you are looking for one whose skills are a bit more expansive I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

[redacted]

I came across this heartbreaking little mitten in a Target parking lot. Makes me dizzy.

I saw a this weeks secret Beck show at the Echo. It was one of those “omg I saw x-rockstar at this intimate venue and now I can die” things. Celeste was there:

Then Jonny overheard a guy talking to his friend’s girlfriend. He said, “The Postal Service is like, emotion, and Death Cab is like, rock.” It was hipster hell in there. Maybe I’m too judgmental or maybe I read glitterfish too much, but when Beck sang, “One by one I’ll knock you out,” I was convinced he was talking to the young hipsters in the audience. And I cheered.

You can never read enough Glitterfish.com.

Hugh pulled this quote off Paul Kedrosky’s blog today.

No sane adult moves to the Bay Area for lifestyle; they move there because they think they can make money. So, while I think it’s nice people like to ski, hike, bike, climb, surf, and golf, I don’t care. I want people who are greedy , competive bastards who would move to Fargo in January to make money, and who don’t know any other way to work than hard. The rest of it is a distraction.

Reminds me of the LA vs. New York debate. Link.

Speaking of quality of life:

Two decades after the federal government effectively blocked construction of a subway to Los Angeles’ Westside, Congress, at the urging of Rep. Henry A. Waxman (D-Los Angeles), is expected to repeal a ban on tunneling through West Los Angeles, a key step in Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa’s drive to bring the Red Line from its current Mid-Wilshire terminus to the sea.

Link.

UPDATE:“Lifestyle” is dead. Welcome to the Neo-Puritan World Order. Say goodbye to your expensive “Real Life” with all the “shopping, beaches, cocktail parties, vacuous conversations etc.”

There is a barbershop in Venice called The Old Glory. All of the internet’s coolest Hollywood Assistant types get there haircut there so naturally, I do too.

On top of a good haircut, I got some excellent Hollywood wisdom in the form of my barber’s life story. In the early 1980’s Chuck was part of a thriving Buffalo New York music scene. His band never broke out of Buffalo, but he did manage to party really hard. Chuck was broke and glam metal was over so he moved to LA to pursue acting. Many bit parts and TV spots later, he was back on the east coast living with his PHD student girlfriend. His experiences with her stuffy academic friends demystified college enough to convince Chuck he needed to go back to school. He studied Traditional Chinese Medicine but ended up missing performing so much he quit school in his last year to return to acting. “I mean yeah–it’s fucking cliché to be an actor in Los Angeles but then again it’s not really. I mean what the fuck, if you want to be a country singer you live in Nashville right?”

Currently he cuts hair, performs in David Bowie and Queen Tribute Bands, and was recently in the Jack Black starring revival of Jesus Christ Superstar.

Chuck gave me a lot of gems but the partial list includes:

• Actors are really arrogant and also really insecure (”I was great, don’t you think so?).
• Don’t be scared to swim with sharks. These people are your mentors.
• His generation was told a big lie: go to school and you’ll get a good job. (”My generation lived with our parents fucking forever.”)
• Value your anonymity. There is something to be said for a person who is a rockstar within the industry but unrecognizable outside of it.
• Despite critical success, its hard to feel like a man when your girlfriend pays your bills.

“If your happy and can do something you live nobody can say shit to you.” I’ll see you in a month Chuck.

Old Glory Barbershop - 1716 Main Street - (310-821-1103)

The Mad Decent tour featuring Bonde Do Role, Cansei De Ser Sexy, Diplo, and the Magic Merch Man Lemon-Red will be rolling through LA this coming Friday August 11th at The Cooper Building. Glitterfish will be in attendance so come out, hang out with us and support some awesome Brazilian bands.

Click Here For Tickets

For audio samples, you can check out all these bands on Myspace

Also, check out the Mad Decent Tour Blog.

Come out and party with us!!!

The Los Angeles Film Festival kicked off last Thursday and Losanjealous hooked me up with two tickets to Darkon. What is Darkon?

Filmmakers Andrew Neel and Luke Meyer boldly catapult us into the make-believe medieval world of Darkon, a fantasyland where Baltimore area residents staunchly partake in an elaborate live action role-playing game. Biweekly, these men and women leave behind their ordinary lives, don their alter egos, and become warriors and heroes in a fabricated community based entirely upon wish fulfillment. And though the film’s humor is rich and the lifestyle rings peculiar, Darkon touches on a fundamental truth shared by the warring factions: in order to endure reality, you need a little or, in this case, a lot of fantasy.

It seemed like a lot of the filmmakers and quite a few of the film’s subjects were in attendance. We got there just in time to catch this tender moment between Prince and Princess Keldar Vinnerex, Knight Baronet of Mordom.

This is either Andrew Neel and Luke Meyer. In either case, the man pictured below directed exactly half of the film.

As for the movie our audience appreciation forms ranged very good to great. The production value on this doc is very impressive. There is some downright gorgeous aerial photography of the Baltimore area and a couple of hilariously epic Braveheart-esque battle scenes.

Can we think up a term for documentaries about nerds and their stupid hobbies (Spellbound, Wordplay, etc)? Hobby Doc? Geekumentary? DocuNerdary? Help me out here. Darkon was well made and entertaining but I’m not awarding any points for creativity.

During the QA the subjects ended up fielding a lot more questions than the directors. Listening to geeks explain the intricacies of Darkonian sex politics didn’t make me want to become a live action fantasy role-playing enthusiast. Nevertheless, if your interested every other Sunday members from the Southern California Darkon Chapter gather in costume and armor to fight unchoreographed mock fantasy battles with padded weaponry and magic.

Darkon (the movie) Website: http://www.darkonthemovie.com
Darkon (the game) Website: http://www.darkon.org
Darkon LA: http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/DarkonLA

DARKON
Mann Festival, Westwood
Saturday June 24 1015pm

The LA Film Festival kicks off this weekend and courtesy of Losanjealous, Glitterfish will be attending the 10:15pm screening of Darkon. What is Darkon?

Filmmakers Andrew Neel and Luke Meyer boldly catapult us into the make-believe medieval world of Darkon, a fantasyland where Baltimore area residents staunchly partake in an elaborate live action role-playing game. Biweekly, these men and women leave behind their ordinary lives, don their alter egos, and become warriors and heroes in a fabricated community based entirely upon wish fulfillment. And though the film’s humor is rich and the lifestyle rings peculiar, Darkon touches on a fundamental truth shared by the warring factions: in order to endure reality, you need a little or, in this case, a lot of fantasy.

The trailer looks amazing. You can buy tickets over at the LA Film Festival’s website.

Special note from the filmmakers:

“we are having a LARP demo at 6.15pm on saturday the 24th, the day of the premiere. it will be located in front of the LA film festival offices at 1081 Westwood Ave, LA. Darkonians will be there, including Bannor, the film’s protagonist. “

Come hang out with Glitterfish!

My ongoing quest for coffee shops featuring free wireless internet has led me to Psychobabble located at 1866 N. Vermont Ave. This one sits in the heart of trendy artist neighborhood, Los Feliz, so consequently I’m holding it up to a hipper standard than Culver City lying Rumor Mill. In fact, just the other day my friend Jonny saw Mandy Moore walk out of restaurant on the same street. Omg..! teh Mandy!!!

The place is arranged loft style with a small upper floor overlooking a lower level. The furniture is pretty shabby but very nicely arranged and color coordinated. With any purchase you get free wireless Internet but it’s tiered in terms of how much you spend. Despite what the menu said, my vanilla latte cost just as much as a regular latte and I was provided with 4 hours of Internet even though 4 hours requires a $5 dollar purchase. Maybe I’m just a very lucky person.

Music is very quiet jazz and the clientele is a nice mix of aging hipsters and more youthful replacements. I dig it.

Google Map.

Last summer I lived in Culver City and had no computer or Internet access. My only options were the prehistoric bum ridden machines at the LA Public Library or the far away and over priced computers at Kinko’s.

That is until I stumbled upon an awesome little coffee shop/laundry matte just down the street called “The Rumor Mill.” Not only do they have free wireless Internet, but they also have three different kinds of brewed coffee one of which called Jet Fuel. For the laptopless, they even have four windows computers available totally free of charge.

I can’t vouch of the food—I’ve never bought it—but the clientele, music, and art on the walls will satisfy your pretentious hipster image.

Google Map.